I told everyone the truth from day one yet still left an hour after my last exam without anyone realising, because I felt I had no choice. I was desperate to get out. Get away. You convinced them all to believe you. You were the golden boy, someone they had known longer. I was the party girl. If this was how I was treated amongst those I loved and trusted, how would I fare in court? I would be shredded. I know it’s a hard thing to believe. Think about it. Knowing it would cause such a rift, why would I lie?
I became invisible. I wasn’t making it up. I don’t. I never have. I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t find out what it was I was supposed to have done. When people thought I was leaving the room, they visibly relaxed. What complete and utter bastards; as if I’d make a doorstep disclosure. That last fortnight, I think I only went outside of the house to go to my exams.
I’m the one who was erased and never invited on holiday or for New Year or to weddings, not you. A post-University future that was robbed from me. It’s a one-time deal. Friends that last a lifetime. I can’t get it back. I missed out. My future was denied to me due to a spiteful rumour. I regret not having the chance to be with friends, but I was kept busy. No-one ever tried to get back in touch with me though.
People pretending to be something they’re not at the beginning, to try and be the best version of themselves impress you, but then you don’t like them once they drop their guard. Well, I saw past that façade and you hated me for it. So I had to be punished. Severely. For something I had not done, so the attention would be deflected from you. Of course you were the one who had to teach me a lesson that I didn’t deserve. You’d have made a great ‘knocker-upper’ in the olden days. You’re a natural gaslighter.
I thought about sending everyone a copy but they can buy their own. They’ll find out soon enough if they don’t already know. Do people still watch the news? I’ll still get the royalties whether they like what they read in my book or not.
I often wonder what kind of person I’d be if I hadn’t been broken and so bitter. What good does it do to dwell? I’m sure I’ll change after the film, and I’ve already started getting into shape for the TV interviews. I never really lost the baby weight. I didn’t care to.
If you had told the truth from the start, you might have been able to have more of a relationship with your daughter than those two hours in the car, before you crashed it. There’s no chance either of us will get to know her now.
I hear the original medical and police reports went missing. You are named in those. Two hours after you did what you did. It’s a shame that your family friend on the force is no longer around to answer why he didn’t pursue any charges, though. Daddy can’t help you now. You’re on your own, in a corner. Just like I was.